Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Happy 10th Birthday Jonah!!!

Celebrating Jonah
Jonah got a new bike for his 10th birthday.

Jonah has a special place in my heart.  I am sure all mommies would agree their first born does.  It's not that we don't love our other children as much.  Believe me, I love Carson and Camden every bit as much as I love Jonah.  But Jonah was the first.  The first person to ever help me understand the meaning of loving someone so much it hurts.

I will never, never, never forget the feeling I had when I looked down at Jonah, just two days after he was born, and tried to wrap my brain around the fact that he was mine.  No one else could take care of him like I could.  I looked at his yellow feet pajamas with the blue ducks, and felt the overwhelming weight of the simple fact that I chose those pjs.  And I would choose his preschool and most likely his first sport.  I would guide him to choose an instrument to play, and friends, and eventually a girlfriend...and college.  I remember watching Man on Fire with Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning.  I don't remember much about the movie, only that Dakota Fanning had been kidnapped and Denzel Washington was trying to rescue her.  But I do remember, vividly, the way the tears rolled down my face, as I watched the kidnapped girl run to Washington when he found her.  I looked down at my sleeping Jonah and felt like my heart would burst, imagining what I would do if someone ever took my child away from me.  I felt this need to protect him, to wrap my arms around him and shield him from the hurt and sadness of our world.

Now I know that I cannot protect Jonah from everything.  I know he will eventually have to deal with loss.  He has already dealt with bullying.  He will have rejections and heartaches.  But I also know that I can prepare him for those situations by keeping our dialogue going.  I can throw the football with him while he tells me about his day, go on bike rides, and take an interest in what he wants to play on the xbox.  I can read the same books he reads, read aloud to him, and have inside jokes with him.  I can cuddle with him at night and scratch his back (as long as he will let me).  I cannot believe that I have spent a decade getting to know him.  And there is so much fun waiting for us in the next ten years.

My dad sent Jonah a birthday email with his "Top Ten Favorite Jonahman Pictures."  Jonah loved getting that email.  And my dad inspired me to put together my Top Ten.

We call this "the picture."  It is classic Jonah at two months old.

First Day of School

It was love at first sight with these two.

And this little collage.  Because how can I celebrate Jonah without giving a little love to his first favorite sport?

I still have those yellow feet pajamas with the blue ducks, and I'll probably never be able to part with them.  They are a reminder of my commitment to take care of Jonah the very best way I know how.  By loving him and listening to him, from that special place in my heart.

I love you, my sweet Jonah!
Happy 10th Birthday!!!

1 comment:

  1. This was really an interesting article!! I really enjoyed reading through this post. My son loves watching anime movies. On his birthday we had reserved one of the best event rooms for rent and hosted the anime themed party for him.